College Decisions are Coming

How to Celebrate OR Cope

It’s that time of year for High School Seniors and anyone who needs to interact with them. College Decisions first come out for schools that are “Rolling”, then usually Early Decision 1, followed by Early Action 1, then Early Decision 2, Early Action 2 & finally Regular Decision.

YES, NO, or MAYBE

If “YES”

Gaining acceptance from an early decision application submission is the assumed perfect scenario and should be celebrated. Not surprisingly, students may feel happy but wonder if they should have applied to other schools. If that is the case, it may be a good idea to provide a gentle reminder that they achieved their objective and something to the effect that there are no “accidents in life; this is exactly what was meant to happen.

If “NO”

It is time to be sad. Nothing positive can be said if their #1 school did not work out. The philosophy that “time heals all wounds” should be front and center.

If “MAYBE”

Depending on how far a student reached for a school, this lack of an affirmative decision can either be positive or negative. For a student set on going to one school, it can be viewed as worse than an outright rejection. Another glass-half-full approach might motivate a student to show interest in the school.

How to Cope OR Celebrate

If “YES”

Follow the school’s instructions, as this will likely include time frames to commit officially and may involve securing freshman housing, summer orientation dates, etc. Celebrating is excellent, but the student’s best friend may have received a “NO” or a “MAYBE” and could be hurting. Although there are no “rules” about what to do outside school, others will appreciate a sensitive approach.

In the short term, let the grieving process take its appropriate timeline. There is no need for a parent to play Monday morning quarterback on every step before that moment. Try to support without judging or suggesting. In the longer term, discuss what plan B (and C) schools could still be in the hunt and what practical time frames lie ahead for Early Decision 2 and Regular Decision.

If “MAYBE”

Follow the advice for “NO” above. On the one hand, treat it like the school is lost and consider other schools that the student will soon hear from. On the other hand, the elements that can be brought back to the school to demonstrate capability should be assembled as long as they are “new” and not repetitive of what was already submitted in the application.

Revisit Plan B

Plan B (and C) should always be thought through as early in the college application process as possible. Thinking about Plan B in late December will likely result in a lack of choices and success for the student.